#4 - I Am Speaking
Handle interruptors of all stripes, from the well-meaning to the truly obnoxious
Read time: 5 minutes
Today at a Glance
My 3-level framework for handling interruptions
Level 1: Polite
Level 2: Direct
Level 3: Gloves off!
Powerful Introvert Update
Handling Interruptions
This is my 3-level framework for handling interruptions:
The tactics range from polite, to direct, to outright rude (at least from an introvert’s perspective). You’ll need to tailor your approach based on the type of interrupter you’re dealing with: are they well-meaning, a habitual offender, or, to use the technical term, a real asshole?
Why it happens
As we discussed last week in #2 - I think before I speak, extroverts often think aloud and view gaps in conversation as opportunities to fill what they perceive as uncomfortable silence with their wit and charm. This is often well-intentioned—most extroverts are aware of their ease in social situations and are genuinely glad to help make others feel comfortable.
This creates a challenge for many introverts, who naturally pause to think before speaking. Extroverts often interpret that pause as a cue to jump in, leaving introverts feeling frustrating and unheard.
In one-on-one conversations, the balance often tips heavily toward the extrovert dominating the interaction. For some introverts, this is perfectly fine— they enjoy listening and are content to speak less. However, it can also result in dissatisfying conversations and a sense of frustration.
In group discussions this pressure can push introverts to get their point across in unnatural ways: speaking rapidly, rambling to fill silence, or using filler words to hold the floor. Each of these habits undermines your clarity, effectiveness, and credibility. Worst of all, it pulls you out of the present moment and into your thoughts, leaving you feeling disconnected from others.
Often, serial interrupters are unaware of their behavior. However, some are fully aware and continue even after being called out. They’ll keep it up if you let them—don’t!
Level 1: Polite
Technique: Frame the conversation
Before starting, let the interrupter know they will have a chance to speak very soon.
“Hey can I have just a couple minutes to share my thoughts, and then I really want to hear your feedback on this. Just give me 2 minutes.”
An even more polite approach, as Vinh Giang suggests, is to frame it as your issue to prevent them from taking it personally.
“Hey, I know I sometimes speak slowly, so this may take me a couple minutes to get through. I promise it’s important, and then I really want to hear your thoughts on this. Can you give me that time?”
It may seem excessive to take this much care in setting the stage, but I’ve worked with people who have attention deficit issues and genuinely struggle to avoid interrupting after a couple of minutes. A little preparation can go a long way, and you can gently remind them if they do interrupt.
Level 2: Direct
Technique: Hold the floor
If you’re speaking and someone cuts you off—that’s rude! Many introverts (often unconsciously) feel it’s impolite to keep speaking when someone tries to interrupt. Nonsense! You have every right to finish your thought without being cut off
These skills may seem daunting at first and require a bit of presence of mind, but I assure you, they can all be learned. The key is to match each technique to the severity of the interrupter you’re dealing with:
Keep speaking over the other person until they get the hint and stop talking.
Keep speaking while raising your voice—introverts often have softer voices, so raising your volume may be necessary to hold the floor. Sound is energy, and sometimes you need to match or exceed their energy level to get your point across.
Pause, then calmly say, “I’m not finished yet.” This direct approach can be very effective in reclaiming your space without escalating the situation.
These are for more extreme cases:
Say, “Let me finish!” This directly calls attention to the behavior. It can be effective on its own, but you may also need to continue speaking over the interruption if they persist.
Say, “I am speaking,” and repeat it if necessary. This clearly highlights the rude behavior for everyone present and may serve more to inform your audience than to correct the interrupter. (I saw Kamala Harris use this effectively during a VP debate.)
Most introverts see this as an advanced skill—and it may well be. My suggestion is to practice, starting with the “keep speaking” technique, especially with less intimidating or assertive audiences to build confidence. As you get more comfortable, you can gradually work your way up to handling more assertive personalities and group settings.
Level 3: Gloves off (or on, depending on your outfit)
Technique: Cut them off
This can be tough for introverts to accept. But picture this scenario: one person or a small group is dominating the conversation. You feel they’ve already made their point several times… the energy and perhaps emotions are running high… time is running out, or the discussion is starting to veer off course. It’s unlikely that anyone will suddenly pause to say, “Well, what do you—quiet introvert over there—think about all this?”
You have a valid point to make, and won’t be heard unless you cut in. Here’s how:
Match the energy — people are often distracted and won’t pay attention unless you’re on the same “wavelength.” Remember: sound is energy.
Grab their attention — quickly show that you have something different to contribute. Be direct and concise. This can be as simple as saying, “I disagree with this direction. Let me explain,” or “No one has mentioned investment. I have one idea.”
Cut in — sometimes, you’ll need to speak over someone. This is the hardest part—knowing who to interrupt. If you feel the need to acknowledge it, you can say, “Sorry to cut in,” but use this sparingly to avoid sounding insincere.
Draw down the energy — gradually slow your pace or lower your volume as you speak to bring the conversation closer to your natural comfort level.
I’ll be honest: this still isn’t my favorite technique, but I’ve learned it’s a necessary evil, especially if you’re often in combative environments where good ground rules aren’t established. Many extroverts find those settings challenging as well.
Remember: an interaction that seems rude or confrontational to you may be perceived as just neutral or even enjoyable to some extroverts.
In addition to being wired differently, we also come from diverse cultures and family dynamics. In some cultures, verbal sparring isn’t just accepted—it’s nearly an art form. What might be considered rude in the Pacific Northwest can be seen as friendly banter or even a sign of affection in places like New York City or Mumbai.
Powerful Introvert Update
This project is still new, and I’m incredibly grateful to everyone supporting me by subscribing, sharing feedback, and especially to those who’ve already participated in or scheduled podcast interviews.
This past weekend, I recorded my second podcast interview with another former colleague, Gregory Schramm—the podcast’s first extrovert guest. In two weeks, I’ll be sitting down with Tim Christensen, CEO and founder of VZBL—a charismatic leader who you’d never suspect is an introvert. I can’t wait!
Thank you so much for your readership and support. Have a fantastic week!
Greg
Great points and techniques, Greg.
Another related technique as someone holding the floor is to make space for other introverts in the room when you have a frequent interruptor or long-talker. Asking that person to pause and make some space for other opinions from those who have not yet been heard can allow everyone in the room to catch up, collect their thoughts, and contribute more meaningfully to the conversation.