How to Survive Networking Events Without Burning Out or Pretending to Be Someone You’re Not
Five simple strategies to stay grounded, make it through, and maybe even enjoy yourself.
I think I speak for most introverts when I say: I really hate networking events.
Put me in a banquet hall with a thousand people glad-handing and cracking banal jokes for thirty minutes, and I’m ready to crawl out of my skin.
I know that’s not the healthiest attitude. But as an introvert in the business world, I’ve felt this way for years—while also realizing that it’s not helping me, or my career, or my business.
Like it or not, networking events are a part of how business gets done. They can open doors, spark new ideas, and connect you with people and opportunities that can genuinely enrich your life.
You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Historically, I’ve approached networking events with the same enthusiasm I bring to a round of vaccination shots, a swig of Robitussin, or shaker of colonoscopy prep.
Many people think that introverts are antisocial, or just shy—and need to get over it.
I used to believe that, too.
This view isn’t just wrong— it reflects a fundamental misunderstanding about what introversion actually is.
First off, most introverts are highly social; we just prefer to socialize on our own terms. We thrive in deep, one-on-one conversations, or small, meaningful gatherings. Put us in a quiet corner with close friends, and we’ll talk for hours.
But drop us into a loud room full of strangers and surface-level chatter? That’s the introvert equivalent of waterboarding.
Also worth clearing up: while some introverts are shy, many are not. In fact, plenty of introverts truly don’t care what strangers think about them—which is the core of social anxiety. Meanwhile, many extroverts experience shyness at first, too, especially in unfamiliar settings. All of which goes to show: introversion is not the same thing as shyness.
What’s really going on for introverts
1. Aversion to Small Talk
Introverts love talking—we just don’t love small talk. We crave meaningful conversations and wish we could skip past all the weather musings and pat anecdotes to get to something real. But in these stilted situations, that kind of depth is rare, and unrealistic.
2. Group Conversations
The dynamics of group conversations can be tricky for introverts. Because we think before we speak—as opposed to thinking aloud—by the time we’re done processing, the topic has often changed. This leaves us with an unfortunate choice: either drop our point, or try to break in and rewind the conversation.
3. Overstimulation
Introverts, and especially highly sensitive people, get ovestimulated in loud, chaotic environments. Our naturally high level of arousal gets pushed into the red zone by the cacophony of a thousand voices echoing through banquet hall. Throw in some background music or a live band to all the bodies in constant motion, and we’re in full-on sensory overload. And this drains our energy guy reserves—fast.
It All Comes Down To Energy Management
The net effect of all this is that networking events are incredibly draining for introverts. Meanwhile, our extroverted counterparts seem to gain more and more energy the longer they stay. They seem to feed off all of the noise and chaos.
The key for introverts is to stop comparing ourselves to extroverts. These amazing people lovethis stuff! (God bless ‘em.) They don’t just go all-in at the event, they want to stay for the after-party—and maybe even the after-after-party at the bar.
Meanwhile, we introverts might feel utterly drained before the main event is over.
So how do we better handle these situations without faking it, and without flaming out?
Here’s my 5 P’s framework for making networking work for your, on your own terms:
1. Purpose - set one clear goal or intention for a positive outcome.
Having a purpose gives you something to focus on besides your own discomfort.
Even if you’re going reluctantly, find one small thing to aim for: learn something new, meet one genuine person, or help someone else feel more comfortable. Chances are, there’s someone in that room even more uneasy than you—and you might be exactly the person who can make their night better.
2. Pair Up– Bring an extrovert wingman.
One of the best ways to ease into networking is to bring along an extroverted ally—yes, there are people (probably in your sales department) who actually enjoy this.
Find someone who loves breaking the ice, keeping conversations flowing, and smoothing over awkward silences. Let them lead the charge—you’ll learn a lot just by watching. Eventually, you may find you don’t need the backup, but it’s always nice to have.
3. Prepare – Make time to steady and recharge yourself before the event.
Take a 20 minutes walk or meditate in your car, an empty room, or on a quiet bench outside the venue. This is especially important if you’ve been working all day, and haven’t had a moment to yourself. Taking this time sends a powerful internal message—you’re in control, you’re taking care of yourself, and you’re showing up on your own terms.
Stars have a “green room” before they go on stage—a place for a quiet moment before they enter the spotlight. Think of it as your personal “green room”—a place to ground yourself before you have to be “on.”
4. Pace Yourself – Manage your energy by building in breaks.
Keep taking care of yourself throughout the event by stepping away when you need to. I usually have 30 to 45 minutes of solid conversation in me before I need a reset.
Take a lap around the room, grab a drink, visit the restroom, or step outside for a few quiet minutes. Smokers have a built-in excuse for this—I like to think of my short walk as a healthier version of a smoke break.
5. Peace Out – Leave before you hit empty.
Head out when your tank is still at a quarter—or even an eighth—full. Don’t wait until you’re running on fumes.
Going into the red zone will leave you depleted, frustrated, and unlikely to want to do this again. Take care of yourself by leaving while you still have a little energy left.
The goal is to walk away feeling positive—maybe even proud—and open to showing up again next time.
Networking doesn’t have to feel like torture.
As introverts, we don’t need to fake extroversion or push ourselves into burnout to succeed—we just need a different strategy. With a little intention, preparation, and self-care, we can navigate these events on our own terms.
You might not walk out buzzing with energy, but you can leave feeling grounded, proud, and more confident for the next one. That’s a win.